Friday, August 26, 2005

The first phone call

The Scene: The Girl is a 23 year old investment banker, working in New York. The Boy is doing his residency in Boston and was given her number by his mother, who is a friend of the Girl's aunt's brother-in-law's cousin's uncle's wife in Chicago.
Time: Monday night, 10 PM

Girl: Hello?
Boy: Shit, she's home! Umm, hi! Is this Pooja?
Girl: Speaking.
Boy: My name is Karan. I don't know if you know who I am. God, what if she doesn't know who I am? I don't even know why I'm doing this!
Girl: Oh, you live in Boston, right?
Boy: Yeah. Ok, so she was told about me, that's some relief. I wonder what she was told - "He's a resident, tall, and fair and he graduated from Ivy League school!". God, she probably hates me already!
Girl: Yeah, my mother mentioned you had my number. I can't believe he actually called!
Boy: So, how are you? Oh yeah, that's real original, but what the hell else I am supposed to say- Umm, hi, I don't know you, but do you want to be my wife?
Girl: I'm fine. And you? Ok, this is off to a great start
Boy: I'm good. Ok, think, think! So, I heard you're an investment banker? Oh, that's a real winner. Now I can be a bad conversationalist and an idiot!
Girl: Yes.
Boy: Ok, she is not helping me at all! Where do you work?
Girl: Merrill Lynch.
Boy: Hey, that's a great firm! I sound like a complete moron. I should just hang up except my mother would somehow find out and kill me!
Girl: Yeah, it's a nice place to work. God, this guy sounds like a complete loser
Boy: So... Stall, Stall!
Girl: So you're doing your residency in cardiology? Like my mom didn't tell me that 500 times already!
Boy: Ok, I can handle this... Yeah, I'm in my second year. Alright, now say something else, but what do I say? Do you drink? Cause if you want to marry me, you can't be one of those goody goody Indian girls who think that if they kiss a guy, they've practically gone all the waySo, what do you like to do in your free time?
Girl: Umm... get wasted... Oh, you know, hang out with my friends, go to movies...
Boy: Where do you like to hang out in NY?
Girl: Shit, what am I supposed to say? This guy could be some religious freak! I can't say bars - I'll say clubs, you can go to clubs and not drink... Oh, sometimes we go to the movies, or there's a couple clubs that are good... That was good, I made it sound like I like clubs, but I'm not really into them...
Boy: Ok, she goes to clubs, that's a good sign. If she was really religious she wouldn't do that. Yeah? I like to dance also.
Girl: He likes to dance- that's a good sign. He can't be that stiff! So where do you hang out in Boston?
Boy: Should I say it? Alright, I'll say it, what the hell! Umm, the same, bars, clubs, stuff like that.
Girl: He said bars! So he probably drinks. Good sign. I should explore this further... Are there any good bars in Boston?
Boy: Yeah, there are some nice ones, I mean, I'm not a huge drinker, but I like having a good time. Ok, that gives the impression of someone who enjoys drinking but is not an alcoholic - pretty good, if I do say so myself
Girl: That sounds really positive. This guy sounds kind of cool. But if he's so cool why is he calling me? Shouldn't he have a girlfriend? Or not need to call random girls his mother tells him about? God, what if he's completely ugly? Yeah, me too. Although I hope my parents never find out.
Boy: Yeah. I know exactly what you mean.
Girl: Ok, so he didn't freak out at the living a double life reference- another good sign. I just wish I knew what he looked like... So...
Boy: Or she could be really fat with a huge mustache. Well, there's only one way to find out! So... I know this sounds a little crazy, but I'm visiting some friends in NYC next weekend and I wonder if you'd want to get together for coffee sometime.
Girl: Coffee. That's totally safe. If he's totally nasty I can have a quick espresso and run like hell! Yeah, that sounds great.
Boy: Alright that went pretty well. Coffee's pretty harmless. And who knows, maybe she'll be cool. Now I have to get the hell out of this conversation... So I have your e-mail, should I just e-mail you soon and we can figure it out?
Girl: E-mail is sooo much better than the phone. Thank God for e-mail! Yeah, just e-mail, I check it all the time at work, so - God, this is getting painful
Boy: Alright, I'll e-mail you soon. Meaning in two days, cause I don't want to look too desperate, but at the same time I don't want to look like I'm trying not to look too desperate
Girl: Cool. Well, I'm glad you called. I think...
Boy: Me too. Well, I'll see you soon. Please be hot, please be hot!
Girl: Alright. Bye. I can't believe he called! Too late to back out now. Besides, maybe he's cool. He didn't sound so bad on the phone.
Boy: Bye. I did it! I am the man. I think she wants me. Yeah, she definitely wants me...

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